Year 1, Part 2, Redemption

Year 1, Part 2, Redemption

I’ll be completely honest with you, I had a crappy day today. Work was tough and some personal life things happened that just didn’t feel very fair. Didn’t feel very fair at all. I have felt down, I have felt alone, I have felt like life today just, sorta sucked. I struggled with my emotions. I wanted to drink. I wanted to stop experiencing life and feelings and emotions sober. “Other people get to go home and have a drink to take the edge off,” I said in my head while feeling sorry for myself.

I can’t smoke, can’t drink, can’t do drugs, and since I’m Keto right now, I can’t even eat a giant bowl of ice cream. But what I CAN do is celebrate what God has done in my life the last 14 months. And a great way to do that is to share the second half of my first year with you. Buckle up, here we go.

This is the beginning of redemption.

November 2nd, 2024 on the advice of my mother I called my longtime mentor, Jeff. I told him everything that had happened and that I was at the bottom. The very bottom. Lost, about to give up and call it. “Daniel, you need to go to church,” his almost instant response. I knew in my heart it was right. I knew in my heart that I needed to.

“You’re right, I do.”

People had been telling me for years I needed to go back to church. That I needed to serve again. That I needed to find a group of supportive guys and friends to surround myself with. And for years I used every excuse I could to justify not doing that. Family, friends and everyone encouraged it. But I ignored it and made excuses. Jeff was right though, I DID need to go to church.

November 3rd, 2024 I went to church. Jeff suggested one that was almost literally right down the road. I went. Broken, at the very bottom, I went. As soon as I walked in I broke down. The church had services, completely led by God, ranging from 2 hours for 4+ hours. This was a 4 hour service and I cried the whole time. God spoke like He was standing in front of me, “You are the prodigal son, and it’s time to come home.” I wrote about this church visit the next day in a blog post titled, I am The Prodigal Son. This was another moment in time that I knew I would never be the same. I was broken, I was lost, I was at the bottom, but this morning, this moment in time, there was hope for redemption.

I went to the church the following Sundays and knew I should have listened all those years. All those years I ignored people telling me to return to God and I just brushed them off. But now, I knew they were right and I knew I would never allow myself to make excuses to not go to church, excuses to not serve.

November 4th, 2024 I cried more. I cried until the early morning hours. I had gone back to church but I was still broken. I had never understood why people felt the need to leave an area and go start a new job or relocate after a difficult or traumatic point in their life; until now. I had to get out. I had to leave. I had to reset. At 2:00am the urge to get out was so strong I felt like I was crawling out of my skin and I got on Indeed to find a job. It’s the only thing I knew to do. I had been looking for another job for several months. Something better than the very frustrating job I had at the time. At 2:00am in desperation I expanded my job search. I knew it wouldn’t be wise to go too far. I couldn’t run away from my entire support system, but I needed to go far enough to change my sightline. A job that felt perfect popped up. I applied, right then and there. Georgie’s restaurant in Newport, Oregon. I had never even heard of it. Looked nice, sounded nice, paid well, it felt in my core absolutely PERFECT.

November 5th, 2024 I called Georgie’s to follow up on my application and was given the email of the property general manager. I sent an email and prayed.

November 6th, 2024 I got an email from the corporate HR manager that she wanted to have a phone interview. I spoke to her for over an hour and I knew the job was right. Everything felt amazing. The core values, the conversation as a whole felt right. I began to get excited. I began to know in my heart that this was going to be what I needed and God was coming through for me. Fear that it was going to be a huge disappointment tried every second for days to consume me, but I knew I had to trust God. I knew that I could trust God. I had let Him down over and over again, but He had not let me down one time.

November 12th 2024 I had an interview with my boss and his boss. Afterwards it felt even more right and even more scary and required even more trust.

November 18th 2024 I had a second interview with the same two gentlemen. More right, more scared it would not work out and more trust of God required. Even if I didn’t get the job I was beginning to believe something good would happen.

November 26th 2024 I visited the Newport Hallmark Resort and Hotel and Georgie’s. They invited me to stay a night in the resort and dine in the restaurant and experience the area. I brought my mom along with me as she absolutely loves the coast and I wanted to share the excitement with someone who had supported me relentlessly my entire life and especially during this incredibly difficult time.

November 27th, 2024 I had an interview with the corporation’s CEO and the restaurant’s Executive Chef. The excitement was there! Surely they would not have brought me out here, paid for everything, if I was not at least a FINALIST for the job!!!!

December 1st, 2024 at 1:00am I was looking on Zillow and found what looked like the right apartment. Apparently everything great happens at 1:00 and 2:00 in the morning! I emailed the owner and knew I had to jump quickly. I hadn’t even been formally offered the job but I knew I had to apply for the townhouse ASAP. It was beautiful and I had heard that housing in the area could be tough.

December 2nd, 2024 I got a call from the HR manager and, after 5 interviews and almost a month I was formally offered the job as the Restaurant and Lounge Manager of Georgie’s Restaurant in Newport, OR. I jumped up and down in my trailer and thanked God.

I found out that within days of my application to the townhouse 70 people applied for it. This was not luck, let me assure you, this was God being faithful to answer my cries for redemption. My crawling, my clawing, my trust through the interview process, my return to church and Him, releasing of my will completely to His. This was His faithfulness, not luck.

December 11th and 12th, 2024 I moved my trailer to the marina RV park and the next day I was given the keys to the restaurant and I began work. Training, learning what seemed like 1000 people’s names, not just at the restaurant but at the entire resort. Lunch with the department managers for the resort, meeting the restaurant supervisors that would be working for me, learning table numbers, POS system functions, a firehose of information.

December 30th, 2024 I moved to the townhouse. It was amazing. The blessing was incredible. I was out of the trailer I had been in since early June. It was incredible.

January 5th, 2025 I searched for a church in Toledo, OR where the townhouse was and found Toledo Foursquare Church. I went and knew it was right. It felt perfectly right. I sat in the back and prayed for God to show me where I could serve. I knew this was where I would be.

January 12th, 2025 while getting ready to go to church the second time I asked God to give me a sign telling me if serving on the worship team was what He wanted. I had grown up serving on worship teams and as a worship leader. It was part of my DNA that I had ignored for 2 decades. I wrote about this as well in a blog called, Goya. Not even 2 hours later the pastor’s wife during announcements said that if anyone sings or plays an instrument come talk to her because they would love to have more people serving in their worship team. My heart skipped, that sure did seem like a sign!

In the following days and weeks I spoke to Debbie, the pastor’s wife on several occasions and I met with the pastor, Charles, and Debbie and shared my story. They encouraged me to attend church regularly for 6 months and then they would love to have me join the team. I felt a rush of excitement and joy. Hope! A chance to serve. Redemption.

May 18th, 2025 was my first Sunday playing guitar and singing with the worship team. Leading up to it people asked me if I was nervous, I responded, “No, I am going home.” It was home. On stage, behind a mic with my guitar, leading others in worship was where I belonged. It was home. What felt wrong was being away from that. The last 20 years had felt wrong, this was right. This was perfect. This was redemption.

After worship that Sunday ended I could only cry and thank God for giving me the opportunity for redemption. Redemption and renewal. For being with me every single second. Never one time leaving me alone during my sobriety. Walking with me every moment.

June 11th, 2025 I was blessed to be able to go back to Salem and share my one year sobriety birthday with the men who had loved and supported me so much and so fully for that year. It was a joyous and wonderful experience.

There’s no way to fully recap the whole last year. I was blessed with a great AA group. I met my sponsor there. He introduced me to a small group that was absolutely vital to my sobriety. At the beginning I still trusted in myself and not God and made terrible mistakes, but I didn’t drink. I didn’t use the 9mm I found my eyes and thoughts drifting to so many times. I was blessed with finding a job in my desperation at 2:00am. A beautiful townhouse at 1:00am. A church that has given me the incredible opportunity of serving. I worship again. I pray with intention again. I have HOPE again. I don’t wake up hung over and embarrassed. I don’t drink my days, weeks, and months away. I live with joy most days and hope for an incredibly blessed life of service to God and others and being the person I longed to be but was incapable of being before I fell to the bottom and before my desperation was full.

Do the hard work. Grind, claw, dig, cry, BE DESPERATE and find God. My story of redemption has only begun. It is only the first moments of my redemption. I am at almost 14 months sober now. My story of redemption will continue for months, years, decades. I will continue everyday to; Trust God, Clean House and Serve Others.

And with that, I will take another 24