Service

Within my first week of AA I was hit with the level of selfishness that my addiction had created. A level of selfishness that my alcoholism allowed me to ignore that was so great most people would simply shake their head with disgust and not understand how it was possible. But those around me were forced to accept it for well over a decade. At the end of one of my first 4 or 5 meetings in AA I had the urge well up inside me to help clean up. It was like chains holding me down were removed and I had the desire, no, craving, to help. A great craving deep in my soul.

That craving in the following months grew larger and larger to the point I would search out ways to serve and help people. I reflected that I used to have the urge and desire to do things for people just to make them smile and feel special. But I had lost that in my alcoholism and I was beginning to get it back. I was beginning to feel it again just in those first several meetings and the months that followed. However, that is not the end of the work. There is still work to do and it was made evident just this afternoon.

I was sitting in the comfortable, cool, safety of my truck at a stoplight in the turning lane. In front of me was a construction truck and sitting on the side rail of the bed was a box. I knew that box to be nails or screws, definitely fasteners of some sort. It was a very busy afternoon of traffic with vehicles driving in all lanes.

I sat debating the need to get out of my cool truck, risk the traffic driving around me, and letting the driver of the vehicle know about the box. The seconds ticked by. I could feel the pressure in my chest to hurry and go now. Go now. Hurry, go now! GO NOW! It’s too late. Like the beat of a bass drum the turn lane light clicked from red to green. In slow motion the truck pulled into the intersection, started the turn and for a moment I thought the box would stay. With only about 20% of the turn left the box slid off the edge of the truck and met the ground sprawling coils of roofing nails across the road.

As I dodged the nails and pulled into a parking lot my heart sank and I was disappointed in myself. I immediately contemplated the possible consequences of my lack of action and service. Would another car come around the corner and hit the nails and have car issues leading to them being late to something like a job or picking up their kids? Would the contractor who’s truck the nails fell off of have some sort of challenge or late finish because they lost the nails they thought they had? Would someone who tried to move the nails from the middle of the road be possibly more injured than I could have been being of service to the driver and telling him about the nails?

These were all hypothetical of course. Most likely there would not have been any major consequences and my concern was unnecessary. But it did serve a purpose in me. There are always ways to serve others. In our everyday lives as we walk around and interact with those around us there are opportunities to serve those who share this great gift of life. It showed me that even though my eyes are more open to service I still have areas I need to grow and go the extra mile in.

This reminds me that service is about doing things others are not doing. Service means doing things that might be uncomfortable. Service means doing things that serve others and not ourselves.

And with that, I will take another 24